spicyshimmy: ademska milks the elephant, a fanart

gectdnyp submitted:

Dragon age 2 is stupid, annoying, loud and a incoherent mess.

The characters are just plain bad. Like written by a lonely landwhale who likes Twilight. Isabella is a dick joke stretched too far, Fenris is jRPG cliché , Merril makes no fucking sense and they turned Anders in to a emo terrorist who is suddenly gay. What the fucking fuck. The Qunari leader is fucking annoying with his “Holier than thou” character but the Viscount takes the dipshit crown. Will explain later. The writing of the characters makes it actually look like Anders is the main villian of the game. Yes, it is actually this fucking bad.

The gameplay is fucking terribad. Instead of creating fun combat situations with a variety of enemies, carefuly positioned to create a challange, you instead fight the same “melee drone” for the whole game. I am not even kidding. For the whole game. Here and there you will have a archer drone and sometimes even a mage, but that is a rare event. They just randomly appear and you have to push buttan to recieve awesum. Not only that but they actually appear from thin air. Literally. They spawn around you. I have never seen something this lazy.

The design is even more terribad. Kirkwall is one big grey lifeless wall and random NPCs have PS2 graphics. The ones you talk to are ok, but the rest are really like that. The map design is probably the worst of this. They actually made a game with more corridors than FF13(14?). Seriosly. Open ground is gone. There are just looong corridors with enemies spawning in. With long vistat giving you the false impression that there is actually something to explore. Another insult is the constant re-using of places. If you saw one house interior, you saw them all. Spider cave will look the same as a mine shaft and so on. The only difference is that there will be huge stone doors to block any further exploration.

story is a joke. It is terribly paced, as it jump once one year, the second time 3 year (or more, correct me on this one). Then they actually have to tell you how much fun you had that one year as a mercenary. Oh, you didn’t have fun? Maybe because you didn’t get to fucking play it you dipshit.

The whole third act is just the Mage tower quest from DA:O, copy-pasted and stretched to fill the whole act. The Qunari invasion makes no fucking sense. The Viscount will let a race of warrior people who depise anything non-Qun, fully armed, in to his own city? Is he fucking retarded?

>But gectdnyp, the Qunari value their weapons over their lives. Thy are like their souls or something, they would never give their weapons to dirty non-Qun peasant races.

In that case, don’t let the fuckers in. Problem solved. They are ship wrecked, let them take care of themselves. When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

>But they could easily conquer the city anyway, so he HAD to let them in!

And that is where one of the plot holes pop in. How exactly? How would they siege an entire city? Did they ship wreck with battering rams and siege towers? Do their now ret-conned horns serve as battering rams? And don’t start with the fucking gunpowder or mages, they didn’t have enaugh of either of those to make a difference against a prepared city. Shit makes no fucking sense.

DA2 is terrible. I am not saying you shouldn’t like it. But it is a rushed, dumbed down game written by hacks. You know better. Don’t buy this game.

*

ademska: lmfao may i direct you to the thousands of words of meta essays and hardcore gay pornographic fanfiction ive written

this game sux

favorfire:

bergmanngabor:

I seriously can’t breathe

what is this and why am I laughing so hard
HOW DO YOU CONFUSE THOSE TWO

sometimes
in my deepest dreams
i remember this place
i see you
i feel you
i miss you……….

favorfire:

bergmanngabor:

I seriously can’t breathe

what is this and why am I laughing so hard

HOW DO YOU CONFUSE THOSE TWO

sometimes

in my deepest dreams

i remember this place

i see you

i feel you

i miss you……….

(via spider-anon)

b-mommy:

ademska:

b-mommy:
“You’re not your warden”
NO YOU’RE WRONG!!!!!! D,: 

i’m never wrong about anything ever

We went back and changed it right before we saw this. You have some kind of filthy witch powers. 

i’m a dirty witch and i need to be punished
lol no i mean i get that some people really dig the more personal aspect, and i can see that, but what made da2 so amazing to me was a multitude of things like its rich characterization of companions and their interactions with each other, the the more structured narrative, the family ties, the tragic anders romance, the subtlety of the political circumstances in how they relate to hawke, hawke’s overall lack of agency…
…none of which could have been accomplished if hawke was more of a blank slate
dao left me cold as far as the warden was concerned because they could be so personal. because companions had to react in a larger variety of ways and the warden’s greater agency could to force them away at any time meant they had less content for each other and everything was dedicated to the warden. they were richly-built, to be sure, but they felt like they only existed with the warden and in backstory. and because there was so much choice in the warden’s origin and in how players could handle that origin, there was no real emotional tie to it outside the player’s own head. in a triple-a cinematic videogame, having to rely on my own imagination for one aspect of the game but not at all for any others was inconsistent at best and jarring at worst.
it’s like playing a bethesda game. sure, you can do almost anything, but at the cost of real narrative cohesion and thus, to me, emotion. the only thing fallout 3 protags share is their backstory, and that’s one of the most memorable moments for most players.
the rising action in literature and cinema is characterized at its peak by struggles, by an inadequacy to accomplish goals. in dao, you couldn’t have an all that remains moment, or a sibling in the deep roads moment, because with all that danged choice there was no room for the emotional devastation of failure. sacrificing choice for emotion and cohesion isn’t something everyone wants in a game, i know, but to me, it’s absolutely vital.
tl;dr y’all have origins i have da2 dont take my shit okay but i luv u mommy B|

b-mommy:

ademska:

b-mommy:

“You’re not your warden”


NO YOU’RE WRONG!!!!!! D,: 

i’m never wrong about anything ever

We went back and changed it right before we saw this. 

You have some kind of filthy witch powers. 

i’m a dirty witch and i need to be punished

lol no i mean i get that some people really dig the more personal aspect, and i can see that, but what made da2 so amazing to me was a multitude of things like its rich characterization of companions and their interactions with each other, the the more structured narrative, the family ties, the tragic anders romance, the subtlety of the political circumstances in how they relate to hawke, hawke’s overall lack of agency…

…none of which could have been accomplished if hawke was more of a blank slate

dao left me cold as far as the warden was concerned because they could be so personal. because companions had to react in a larger variety of ways and the warden’s greater agency could to force them away at any time meant they had less content for each other and everything was dedicated to the warden. they were richly-built, to be sure, but they felt like they only existed with the warden and in backstory. and because there was so much choice in the warden’s origin and in how players could handle that origin, there was no real emotional tie to it outside the player’s own head. in a triple-a cinematic videogame, having to rely on my own imagination for one aspect of the game but not at all for any others was inconsistent at best and jarring at worst.

it’s like playing a bethesda game. sure, you can do almost anything, but at the cost of real narrative cohesion and thus, to me, emotion. the only thing fallout 3 protags share is their backstory, and that’s one of the most memorable moments for most players.

the rising action in literature and cinema is characterized at its peak by struggles, by an inadequacy to accomplish goals. in dao, you couldn’t have an all that remains moment, or a sibling in the deep roads moment, because with all that danged choice there was no room for the emotional devastation of failure. sacrificing choice for emotion and cohesion isn’t something everyone wants in a game, i know, but to me, it’s absolutely vital.

tl;dr y’all have origins i have da2 dont take my shit okay but i luv u mommy B|

b-mommy:
“You’re not your warden”
NO YOU’RE WRONG!!!!!! D,: 

i’m never wrong about anything ever

b-mommy:

“You’re not your warden”


NO YOU’RE WRONG!!!!!! D,: 

i’m never wrong about anything ever

b-mommy:

kris-annds:

trilliumg:

lacewhimsy:

eldritchdreams:

tapsterstavern:

paragadeshep:

mygamingconfessions:

Dragon Age: Origins will always be better than it’s sequel to me. The Warden was my character, the Warden was me. I am not Hawke, and BioWare can’t force me to be.

 Agreed.

This is also true for myself. 

The main thing that kills immersion into Hawke as a literal projection of the player into the game world (for me at least) is the inability to make some decisions that the Warden would have been able to make in Origins. Want to kill Petrice after Shepherding Wolves? Nope, we need her for plot-related reasons later. Want to kill Sebastian before he has a chance to raise an army against Kirkwall? Nope, sorry, but thanks for preordering the Signature Edition! My Warden would have slaughtered both of them before you could say “MAKER NO!”

That, and also the way Hawke just has a “character” already. There might be differences in how the lines are said, but all three choices portray the same sort of person: s/he is bold, s/he is agressive, s/he is immediately a leader. What if I don’t want to be so frigging in everyone’s face all of the time? /rant

There are many reasons I’ve stated in the past, but I honestly hope that DA3 is at least a hybrid of the first two. Otherwise I’m prolly outta here.

All of the above.
Do you know, I love my first PT, a female human mage warden so much that I feel weird playing that role again?  Even though she kept the default first name, I still love her to pieces.  She’s my warden.  I don’t feel anything similar for any of my Hawkes.
That said, DAII didn’t get everything entirely wrong.  As mentioned above, a hybrid of the two would probably be best.  Bioware claims to be learning from the criticisms of both hardcore fans and reviewers alike.  Let’s hope it’s all for a really bad ass DA3.

You kids <3

i suppose i can understand this mentality re: personal preference in the types of games you prefer playing, because you’re certainly allowed to prefer games that allow you to create a character to significant degree (tho don’t make the mistake of thinking dao’s possibilities were even close to infinite or even particularly diverse) vs games with a set protagonist, but if you’ve ever played and enjoyed a game with a predefined protagonist at all, how is da2 particularly inferior?
i swear i’m not picking a fight or declaring the above opinions invalid or anything, nor does the following really apply to any of you considering how polite you’ve been about it… but after spending months on bsn i just have to wonder why there’s such an outcry against the semi-subjective protagonist system of da2. is it because fanboys and girls felt shortchanged? they were never promised another origins-like game; they knew what they were getting as soon as voiced protag and single backstory was announced early on.
why is it so damn important to have a character be yours? you didn’t create the game, you didn’t write the rubric of dialogue possibilities or the setting to give the character context. you’re writing fanfiction, because everything was always bioware’s. you’re not your warden, and the warden isn’t yours. you just picked choices and interpreted them into a narrative.

b-mommy:

kris-annds:

trilliumg:

lacewhimsy:

eldritchdreams:

tapsterstavern:

paragadeshep:

mygamingconfessions:

Dragon Age: Origins will always be better than it’s sequel to me. The Warden was my character, the Warden was me. I am not Hawke, and BioWare can’t force me to be.

 Agreed.

This is also true for myself. 

The main thing that kills immersion into Hawke as a literal projection of the player into the game world (for me at least) is the inability to make some decisions that the Warden would have been able to make in Origins. Want to kill Petrice after Shepherding Wolves? Nope, we need her for plot-related reasons later. Want to kill Sebastian before he has a chance to raise an army against Kirkwall? Nope, sorry, but thanks for preordering the Signature Edition! My Warden would have slaughtered both of them before you could say “MAKER NO!”

That, and also the way Hawke just has a “character” already. There might be differences in how the lines are said, but all three choices portray the same sort of person: s/he is bold, s/he is agressive, s/he is immediately a leader. What if I don’t want to be so frigging in everyone’s face all of the time? /rant

There are many reasons I’ve stated in the past, but I honestly hope that DA3 is at least a hybrid of the first two. Otherwise I’m prolly outta here.

All of the above.

Do you know, I love my first PT, a female human mage warden so much that I feel weird playing that role again?  Even though she kept the default first name, I still love her to pieces.  She’s my warden.  I don’t feel anything similar for any of my Hawkes.

That said, DAII didn’t get everything entirely wrong.  As mentioned above, a hybrid of the two would probably be best.  Bioware claims to be learning from the criticisms of both hardcore fans and reviewers alike.  Let’s hope it’s all for a really bad ass DA3.

You kids <3

i suppose i can understand this mentality re: personal preference in the types of games you prefer playing, because you’re certainly allowed to prefer games that allow you to create a character to significant degree (tho don’t make the mistake of thinking dao’s possibilities were even close to infinite or even particularly diverse) vs games with a set protagonist, but if you’ve ever played and enjoyed a game with a predefined protagonist at all, how is da2 particularly inferior?

i swear i’m not picking a fight or declaring the above opinions invalid or anything, nor does the following really apply to any of you considering how polite you’ve been about it… but after spending months on bsn i just have to wonder why there’s such an outcry against the semi-subjective protagonist system of da2. is it because fanboys and girls felt shortchanged? they were never promised another origins-like game; they knew what they were getting as soon as voiced protag and single backstory was announced early on.

why is it so damn important to have a character be yours? you didn’t create the game, you didn’t write the rubric of dialogue possibilities or the setting to give the character context. you’re writing fanfiction, because everything was always bioware’s. you’re not your warden, and the warden isn’t yours. you just picked choices and interpreted them into a narrative.